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A Birth Story

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I’m feeling so much since this little one came.

Exhausted.

Scared.

Nervous.

Guilty.

Love.

Joy.

Excitement.

Love.

okay, time for the story.

I hit my due date and felt just as good as I had two weeks before. I guess I was feeling some contractions. But no pain and no signs of labor. I was sure that I had another week. So I woke up early the day after my due date and went to work. Everyone jokingly said I hope this is the last time I see you. Ha. I left early to go to my Doctors appointment. Dylan was meeting me there because I was coming from work. And he was late, only a few minutes but for some reason it made me panicked. I felt like I really wanted him to be there. Well he made it before the doctor came in and our sweet doctor said everything looked good, almost too good. I was barely dilated or thinned. Our doctor said she had scheduled our induction for the following week and just to be safe, wanted to do some fetal monitoring to make sure baby was good through the weekend.  I was just excited to hear our little ones heart beat.

We went into this little room and they put on those cute pink and blue bands to check contractions and baby’s heart rate. And we noticed that babies heart rate was going down with every contraction. We were so obtuse and just thought that was normal. Well about twenty minutes later our doctor came in and let us know that I needed to go over to the hospital and get admitted. She was worried about his heart beat going down and said I would need to be induced today. I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing. I mean we had passed the due date, but I didn’t feel ready. I was hoping to get a few more days of work in… Ha. Deep down I was so scared for labor. And a baby. Well we headed over feeling just like any other day.

We got all admitted around noon and started on the meds, soon enough the contractions came. I was so nervous about his little heart rate that I kept asking to have the heart rate band adjusted and checked up on. It never really went down again and there was no explanation.

Thankfully the contractions were coming slowly and not all at once, so I was able to ease into it. Around midnight I was finally given pitocin and the epidural.

I’m not sure why but I really did not love getting the epidural. I was in a lot of pain and was ready for the epidural, but I also was nervous about getting a needle in my spine… And it turned out that it hit a blood vessel and so he had to do it all over again. But to be honest I was feeling the reality of having to actually give birth to my baby. The night seemed to drag on and I tried to get some sleep. Around six or so in the morning I felt that my water might have broken and so I thought I was half way there. By the time the doctor came in about an hour later to actually break my water I was dilated to a 9!!  It was almost time to push.

Our doctor checked babies head and she said it was facing the wrong way, that it was posterior. She had me do some repostioning to see if he would move on his own. But by the time she came back he was still posterior so she had to turn him. I don’t feel much of this, but was grateful she knew how to turn him. She had me start pushing to keep baby in the right position. This was it.

Dylan, was hoping to be by my side and not really see what was going on down there. But as a surprise to both of us, the nurse called Dylan and over and asked the hold my leg. She didn’t even off the stirrups. He had a front row seat to labor and I’m so grateful for him. He didn’t say anything about not wanting to and was so supportive of me. At this point I felt so motivated to get my little one here. I did some practice pushes and made some good progress. Our doctor felt like she needed to do a little epsiotomy to make room for baby and asked the nurse to call her back in when I was close.  At this point babys heart rate was going down a tad, mostly from the stress of being pushed out. They gave me some oxygen to help. Which was very nice. I got close and the nurse tried calling our doctor. She called and called and the doctor was busy with another patient. I was worried she would miss it. Finally our doctor came in to check on my progress, and to my excitement she said there was no time for an epsiotomy just a few more pushes and baby would be here. This was it. I was going to meet my sweet boy so soon. I remember telling myself how worth it it would be to just push really hard and he would be here. My husband was awesome and kept me updated on his head crowning. When the head was out I just knew he was here. And within seconds my life changed. They handed me my son and I just bawled. I was so happy that was all over, I was so happy he was there and crying and pink. Oh I couldn’t even believe it.

Early on we had decided on three names for baby and were waiting to meet him before we chose. I asked Dylan if he would pick when the time came. I was happy with all three and wanted Dylan to make the final choice. He would always joke that he was trying to decide which one I wanted… But once the baby was born, within in seconds he leaned in and told me that his name would be Benjamin. I can’t explain the joy we felt in that moment. Meeting out son and knowing his name. It was life changing.

Perhaps in another post I’ll write about recovery. But I know I have written so much already. I’m so grateful for so many of you, who have given me alive and words of comfort leading up to delivering my sweet baby. It’s amazing the support we can give each other.

xo Deborah

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2 thoughts on “A Birth Story

  1. Oh I just loved this! Labor and delivery is such a beautiful scary hard amazing thing. I’m so glad it ended up going fairly smoothly and Benjamin was healthy!

    Like

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